Anathema
by Dark Mousy
Summary: [Post AC] Three months have passed since the defeat of Sephiroth. Cloud has gone again. But this time he has left more than memories behind...and though Tifa ignored the signs she finds that she is pregnant. A story about love and loss, tears and tragedy.
1. Prologue

_Because every pleasure_

_And every pain_

_Provides, as it were,_

_Another nail to rivet_

_The soul to the body and weld them together._

_-_Plato, _Phaedo_

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**Prologue**

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She had thought it was malnutrition.

Eating well had not been one of her priorities since Cloud had gone. With everything 'finally right' with the world there was consequently more business, and she found herself spending most of her hours at the bar. As long as she kept her mind busy she would not have to think about her body.

But it seemed, after a time, that her body was ready to force her to remember.

Tifa could hear Denzel and Marlene playing in the other room. The steady sound of the ball hitting the floor was a tell-tale sign that they were playing a game even she played as a child…and she smiled when she could hear Denzel's shout of triumph and Marlene's pitiful whine.

But she had snuck past the open door in order to reach the bathroom. Yuffie had finally talked her into what she was about to do, and somehow she did not want Marlene and Denzel to see her in the state she was in. Her body was trembling with anxiety, and as her delicate fingers struggled to open the thin cardboard box the sweat from her palms made it slip out of her grasp. When the box fell to the floor, half-opened, she had a thought to simply throw it away…to push it to the back of her mind as she had been doing the past three months.

Yuffie's voice was naturally the voice of reason, and she saw how her hand shook as she knelt to pick up the box. It almost seemed as if the hand in front of her was not her hand at all. Everything seemed foreign now, even the tidy bathroom that she had worked hard to clean the past weekend. Now it seemed to be mocking her no matter where she looked.

It had to be malnutrition. There were a score of reasons why women missed their periods. Some could go months.

Tifa purposefully disregarded the fact that hers had always worked like clockwork, and she had excused the first month. She had grown slightly worried the second, but had kept herself busy. And now…

Five minutes. Five minutes had never seemed so long in her life. She set the object on the pristine white counter next to the porcelain sink, hearing the slight trickle of water that refilled the commode along with her own raging heartbeat. She found herself constantly wiping her palms on the leather backing of her skirt. When she finally grabbed the object it had only been three minutes, but she could not leave it on the counter. She had not even known she had been taking steps backward until her back was against the wall.

Four minutes. Her breath felt like ice in her chest as she held it, refusing to breathe. Her heart was erratic in her chest and she felt sick all of a sudden as something began to show on the small screen. And then, when the seemingly friendly blue plus sign showed against the white, she bit back a scream.

Faintly, she heard the item drop from her hands as she finally released the breath she had been holding in a sob. Her knees felt weak, and she slid to the floor without ceremony and buried her head in her hands. Her fingers dug into her scalp, tangling themselves around her raven strands as she pulled and tried to bring a sense of reality back to her body.

None came. She bit her lip to keep her sobs silent but she felt like screaming until her lungs would burst. She felt a trickle of blood flow down her cheek from where she bit her lip. Everything seemed so trivial now.

_Oh God…_Tifa sobbed, her heavily lashed eyes shut against the harsh fluorescent light of her own bathroom.

_I'm pregnant._

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**Author's Note:** Well, I hope you liked the prologue. I know it's short, but prologues usually are. Although I have read a few where the prologues are many pages…it doesn't matter. This is my first try at FVII fanfiction. Please review, constructive criticism is welcome. Also, please do not flame. I appreciate it if you took the time to read it and if you hate it, then please keep it to yourself.

In case some are wondering about pairings…because I know many people base the stories they choose to read on pairings… this is for me to know and you to find out! But I can give you hints. There's obvious Tifa/Cloud. But what if Cloud doesn't come back? Could there be Tifa/Reno? Maybe Tifa/Vincent? Yuffie/Vincent? Don't know!


	2. Chapter One

"_Ae fond kiss, and then we sever!_

_A farewell, and then forever!_

_Deep in heart-wrung tears I'll pledge thee,_

_Warring sighs and groans I'll wage thee._

_Who shall say that Fortune grieves him,_

_While the star of hope she leaves him?_

_Me, nae cheerful twinkle lights me,_

_Dark despair around benights me."_

-Robert Burns, _Ae Fond Kiss_

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**Chapter One**

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Tifa did not know how long she sat on the bathroom floor, but she knew that eventually her sobs faded into nothing. It was almost as if she could no longer hear her breathing, and the only sign that she was still alive was her scalp hurting from where she had pulled at her hair. The pregnancy test still lied on the floor mere inches from her feet.

"Tifa?" Denzel's voice came muffled from the other side of the door. "You in there?"

She seemed shocked out of her sorrow then, as she hastily wiped at the tear tracks underneath her eyes with the palm of her hand. Her nose was still running, and she was afraid that she would talk in a voice that was indicative of her crying. But she was able to clear her throat adequately enough and control her voice so that she sounded as if nothing was amiss.

"I'll be out in a sec, sweetie. You need something?"

"I need the bathroom!" There seemed to be a laugh in his voice, and it made Tifa smile slightly. She forced herself to get up, though her muscles were strangely tense. It had to be all the stress, but she still winced slightly as she found her footing. Barret was usually the one to take out the trash…if it was paranoia, she did not know, but she hastily put the test back into the box and hid the box in her shorts pocket. She would throw it away later.

Examining herself in the mirror was a hard feat. She looked nothing like she had earlier that day. Her eyes were bloodshot while her face seemed unnaturally pale, and her eyes were still puffy. She could not remember crying like she had since Aerith's death. And that was with Cloud…

Thinking of him made her fists clench and her breath quicken, but she controlled her tears. Since when did she turn into such a crybaby?

"Tifaaaaa…." Denzel's voice came from the other side of the door again, this time more insistent.

There was blood on her chin from where she had bitten her lip. She hastily wet a tissue and rubbed it away, though there was nothing to be done about the cut. Her bottom lip was swollen visibly, and red around the slight break in the skin. How would she explain this one to Barret?

"Coming," she forced herself to answer in as cheery a voice as she could muster. The paranoia still set in, and she also hid the bloodied tissue in her pocket. No one could find out…at least, not yet. The shame was too much for her as it was.

She opened the door, and for once she was thankful about Denzel's lack of concern for her as he rushed past her and into the bathroom. Marlene was still in the room the two shared, examining the small metal jacks on the floor. Tifa tried to walk by unnoticed but Marlene was now bored without her playmate, and called out to her.

"Tifa! You wanna play with us?"

"Not now." She gave the familiar motherly voice she had found herself using so often lately…but these were not her children. She had always loved children but now…thinking about it brought the same lump in her throat that threatened tears. She pushed them back again. She would not think about Cloud right now. "I…have to get ready to open the bar. You and Denzel have fun, okay?"

Marlene gave a cute nod of her head, allowing a high-pitched sound of approval that was more like a hum in her throat. At this same time Tifa heard the toilet flush and kept walking before Denzel got out. He was always the more inquisitive one…he was such an adult, even at his age. She could never stop wondering at what could have happened had Barret not showed up when Bahamut had been summoned…

Down in 7th Heaven, everything was quiet. She decided not to turn on the stereo until opening time. The phone on the wall seemed to be the only blaringly white object in the entire bar, and she found herself continuing to glance at it. For a moment she thought about calling Yuffie… she needed _someone_ to talk to, and Yuffie was as close to a sister as she had. But she was even ashamed to tell her friend. And so, all thoughts of the phone left her mind as swiftly as they had come.

Every time she thought about Cloud she started to think of…no, she would not. She even shook her head as if that would rid it of the memories she no longer wished to keep. What sort of mess had she gotten herself in to?

Regardless of her will power, she found herself lost in thought. There was no cohesiveness to them but they floated through her memories just the same. Everything was just like a bad dream…and maybe she could just…

_Bang!_

She was not easily shocked, but she felt herself jump. The glass she had been drying fell out of her hands and shattered on the floor. Even this seemed to be shocking, as she had _never_ dropped a glass before. And all at a knock on the door!

_Bang! Bang!_

"We're closed!" She nearly yelled, to match the same tone of the insistent knocks of whatever asshole decided…

"Fuckin' open the door, Tifa!"

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**Author's Note: **I don't own anything, yadda yadda. Thank you for the wonderful reviews. I hope this story can continue to keep everyone's interest. And we're all wondering what happened with Tifa and Cloud…maybe the next chapter, maybe not!


	3. Chapter Two

"_This is the way the world ends._

_This is the way the world ends._

_This is the way the world ends."_

-TS Eliot, _The Hollow Men_

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**Chapter Two**

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Cid.

As she had thought, whatever asshole had decided to knock on her door before the bar was open. He had a bad habit of doing that, as he hated the large crowds that usually swarmed in now that Tifa had helped to 'save the planet' a second time. But really, he was taking advantage of their friendship.

"Alright! Calm down, grandpa!" She almost laughed as she heard a string of curses through the door, but she unlocked it and opened it anyway. He seemed about ready to throw more verbal abuses at her until he saw her face.

"The fuck happened to you?"

"Hi, Tifa, how are you? How was your day? Gee, thanks for letting me in before the bar opens…" she began, sarcastically filling in words that she would have liked to hear from him instead of an obvious statement about her looks.

"I'm serious. Was it that fuckin' spike-headed…"

If only he knew. He usually said it as a joke to rile her up, as she was always there to defend Cloud and poke fun at him at the same time. Cid always knew Cloud was her button to push, as usually she would be expected to go into a tirade of how he failed to deliver this, or failed to take Marlene where…

But Tifa only offered him a smile this time.

"You better be ready to pay for the glass I dropped. Why can't you just call to let me know you're coming?"

"Cell phones are for pussies. If you only kept the com I gave you…"

"Cid, that thing was the size of my head. We don't need that now that we're not in AVALANCHE."

"Still works fine for me."

Tifa only shook her head, knowing that trying to argue with Cid would take her no where. He was more than set in his ways by his age, although he was the most fun to poke at. He got riled easily enough to give Tifa and the others entertainment whenever they needed it.

"Well, you don't look so great yourself." Tifa's voice managed to be cheerful, but to her it still sounded so empty. She led Cid in, easily darting around the tables that were crowded together in hopes of fitting as many people as possible. "Have a fight with the ship again?"

She was referring to the numerous oil stains on his clothes and face, as there was a visible smudge on his cheek. He seemed to remember that there was a smudge on his face and rubbed it hastily with his sleeve, but it only succeeded in making the smudge bigger. Under normal circumstances, she would have laughed. But these were not normal circumstances.

"The damn cooling system broke again… got one of my guys to try and fix it and he ended up breaking the fuckin' fuel line to the second engine and I had to spend the afternoon fixin' it." It was obvious Cid was in a sour mood because of it, which was why he moved past the usual pleasantries and straight to the bar. She did not need to ask what it was he wanted – it was always Wild Turkey straight from the bottle.

"I'm sorry," she offered with an empty tone – there was never much else to say to a rant.

"Yeah, he was sorry too when I let him have it. Wasted seventy fuckin' gallons of fuel all over the damn place. Gonna take days to clean that mess."

Tifa's shoes crunched over the broken glass on the floor. This seemed to bring Cid's attention up from the day's events.

"I've seen you work here for years and you never dropped a glass. Did you think it was the fuckin' Turkeys or what?"

She only offered him a smile, thinking of how mad he would be once he found out that Reno had been calling. Naturally, she was always away when Marlene took the message, but it was the principal of the matter.

"I guess…I thought it might have been someone else."

And for once, thankfully, Cid did not press her further. This could have been due to the shot glass and bottle she slid across the bar to him. He poured it thankfully, taking three straight before he finally took a breather.

"Don't think I forgot, girl." Tifa's attention jumped back to him, as she had been below the bar picking up the glass shards. She could not see his face from where she was, but she could hear the glass thump back on the mahogany countertop. "Mind's like a steel trap. Something's wrong and you're gonna tell me what."

"Cid, I've just had a rough day," she said in way of explanation. "Besides, your mind isn't what it used to be." That she offered in way of a joke, and he laughed mockingly.

This is how it had been. Cloud had been sitting across from her on the bar. Marlene and Denzel had been playing some kind of board game on one of the bar tables. It was the way he had looked at her… the things he had said after she had served him a simple glass of water. It had made her heart stop. And for a moment she had thought that maybe…

"You gonna get that?"

"Hm?" Tifa had not realized that the phone had started ringing. She quickly wiped her hands on her shorts and moved to it, careful to step over the glass this time. There was no use breaking it into smaller pieces that could not easily be picked up. For a moment she contemplated even picking it up at all, but she was afraid of what Cid would think if she did not.

"Hey! It's Yuffie!" The cheerful voice on the other end was nearly blaring, and Tifa had to hold the phone a bit away from her ear. Before she could even say anything, however, Yuffie's voice came through again. "Did you do that test? How'd it come out?"

Tifa felt her heart sink. She hastily looked back over her shoulder to Cid, worried that he had maybe heard Yuffie as the bar was dead silent. But he just continued drinking, and did not seem like he had heard anything at all. It was this time that Tifa crushed the receiver to her ear as if it would muffle some of the sound.

"Yuffie!" she nearly yelled, and found herself on the brink of laughing hysterically. "I'm here with _Cid._"

"So?" Silence. "Oh! Oh Tifa, I'm sorry! I didn't mean, you know, he always tells me I'm too loud…"

"It's alright." She could not be mad at Yuffie. After all, Cid did not hear. And if it had not been for her friend she would not have had the strength to even _buy_ the test…well, scratch that, Yuffie had bought it for her. And when she had first found out she had been too ashamed, but now she realized how much she really needed to tell her.

No, she would not cry again. She had almost been able to push the results of the test to the back of her mind but talking to Yuffie again had almost resurfaced them. She wanted to _tell_ her…as if telling her would make it all go away.

"Umm….I'll drop by later! How does that sound?"

"Fine," and Tifa did not wait for the girl to say anything else as she hastily hung up the phone. She turned back to Cid, who looked thoughtful as he took another shot of the whiskey.

But she said nothing to him as she knelt again. There was still glass on the floor, and she was careful as she picked up the individual pieces and threw them in the trash can under the counter. The silence seemed to stretch on, with only the sound of the glass falling into the trash bag along with the light thumping upstairs where Marlene and Denzel played.

"Mind's like a steel trap, Tifa," she heard him say…

And it almost sounded like a warning.

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**Author's Note:** I don't own anything related to SquareEnix or Final Fantasy VII, yadda yadda. I can't even say I own the storyline, I'm sure it's been done before. Thank you for the wonderful reviews thus far. Please continue to review, they make me happy! And they make me want to write more.


	4. Chapter Three

A/N: Okay, so it's been…about two years since I started this story. I left it off because I let off all fanfiction writing the moment I got into college (it sucks). I suddenly realized the other day that I wanted to finish this story. So, here it is, I'm continuing it.

Sorry for the lack of continuity.

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**Chapter Three**

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Tifa put the phone back on the receiver.

She was not going to call. She was not going to leave _one _more voicemail on his cell phone. She did not even know if he had it anymore, or if he checked them – and if he did, and never called back, she hated him even more.

Why did she let him do this to her?

Yuffie had called on more than one occasion to try and get a hold of her. It had been three days since Cid came and went, and she had seen no one familiar since. Yuffie was off doing her own business in the next city over, which was partially why she had not barged through the door. On some level, though, Yuffie knew that Tifa needed her space.

There was no one she could talk to other than her friend. Anyone else would say that she did it to herself, that Cloud did not love her and had never loved her, and that she was chasing after nothing. A memory, maybe, of how they had been as children. But he had changed while she had stayed the same. They had lived in the same house together but had been miles apart – she could never read him, never understand what he was thinking.

If she were not so used to him, she would have been infuriated. There were a few times when she got angry at his seemingly uncaring attitude and his too-quiet demeanor. Eventually, she had grown tired of begging him to stay. And when he had told her he would be leaving, for who-knows-how-long, she had nearly lost it.

_Why can't you just stay?_ She had asked. _Why can't you just let me in?_

She had been crying at this point, and when he tried to approach her hit him square in the chest, both fists forming into a weak punch that did not even move him. When he tried to hold her she fought more, crying, hitting him until she could not see straight and he was holding her… waiting for her sobs to end.

_You're a coward,_ she had cried, _you're a coward._

Never had she thought she would say such a thing to him. But she was willing him to stay, to fight through whatever relationship they had, to fight for his own mind so he could step out of himself for once. They had been standing alone, in the middle of 7th Heaven, too early in the morning for customers.

_Can't you see that I love you? Do you just ignore it?_

Words that she had wanted to say never came out. She had opened her mouth to say them, to finally _tell_ him why she never wanted him to leave… and he kissed her. Finally, he had kissed her. It was what she wanted, what she had always wanted, and she cried more as she fell into him. He never stopped kissing her. And then…

"Tifa!" Denzel rushed into the bar, being chased by Marlene. They darted and dodged between the tables, Denzel holding a doll, and Marlene screaming about it. Tifa managed a sad little laugh, watching the antics of the two children she had come to consider her own. She was a mother to them. And they, despite everything, considered Cloud as a father.

"Play nice," Tifa said as she stepped behind Denzel. He had time to turn around, but not before she snatched the doll out of his hand. A pout from him earned a smile. "There are better ways to get attention than stealing a girl's doll."

When she handed it back to Marlene, the little girl gave a triumphant 'hmph' sound and stuck her pert nose into the air. Denzel just sighed, admitting his own defeat.

"Now, have you two finished your homework?"

Denzel and Marlene looked at each other, then at her, belatedly opening their mouths to try and give some excuse. The reaction was not fast enough, and a glower from Tifa sent them scrambling up the stairs.

Finally left in peace, she went behind the counter to finish drying the glasses. The day was cool and the streets were quiet, so much so that they had lulled her into a daydream earlier. One that had started as soon as she slammed the receiver down. She never wanted to see or hear about a phone again, and almost considered throwing her own cell phone away. It was not as if she was expecting a call.

A quiet knock on the door brought her attention off the menial task. This time she let out a loud sigh, slamming the heavy-bottomed cup down on the mahogany countertop.

"We're closed!" she said in a defeated, exasperated tone. "Read the sign!"

"Tifa?"

She was lucky she did not have another glass in her hand, or else she would have dropped it. What was _with_ all the strange visits now? Was she on the pity party radar when no one knew she needed pity?

"Vincent," she said in a way of greeting as she opened the door. To say she was surprised to see him would be an understatement. As much as she had not heard from Cloud, she had not seen hide nor hair of the red-cloaked man. No one had heard from him either.

She had forgotten how tall he was as he walked past the threshold. She had to crane her head to look at his face, though it was shrouded in black hair. For a while she said nothing, and only closed the door after he entered.

"You don't seem the type to come for a visit," she managed amiably, with a signature smile as she slid past him to the bar. "Rough day?"

Without ceremony, Vincent placed an opaque plastic bag on the bar. She eyed it suspiciously before her eyes darted to his face, seeing nothing there (so much like Cloud) but maybe…just maybe a hint of embarrassment.

Vincent never spoke much, so Tifa deduced that he had put the bag on the counter for her. She did not recognize the brand on the outside, but once she pulled the small box from the inside she openly laughed. It felt good to forget, even for a little while, that her life was falling down around her feet.

"Well, it's about time!" she was still laughing as she examined the cell phone box. "Who knew you'd actually get one. I thought you were joking."

"I wasn't."

"I know that now," she replied, knowing that he was not one to understand light sarcasm as a joke. "How exciting! It's a definite step up."

Vincent just eyed her, and she could see the lightest upturn of the corners of his mouth. That was all she could ask for, really. The man never smiled. But he was compassionate, that much she knew. Marlene had told her on many an occasion about her fight with Cloud, and how Vincent had been the one to change his mind.

_And his cloak was so soft and he smelled good! _Marlene had said, upon being enveloped by it in the Forgotten City.

"I don't know how to set it up," he admitted.

"I'm not an expert," she came around the bar so she could sit on the stool next to him, "but I'm sure I can figure it out. You're going to have to watch, though, or else you won't know what you're doing."

Vincent said nothing, merely watched as she had said – examining every movement of her slender fingers from the time she opened the box to the time she was programming numbers into the keypad. Hers was first. Then Yuffie's. Then Cid's.

But not Cloud's.

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A/N: Okay, so not too much happened here, but there's some set-up that has to go on. Hopefully this doesn't disappoint too much.


	5. Chapter Four

**Chapter Four**

Much to Tifa's surprise, Vincent had stayed a while to…talk. He seemed a little anxious about the slack-jawed look she gave him when he did not leave his seat after the cell phone was set up. She hastily explained that it was fine, she was happy for him to stay, but that it was just a surprise – he hardly spoke at all.

"Hmm…we should pick a ring tone for you," she said after a small lapse in the conversation – one that she could not help but think was slightly awkward. She never knew what he was thinking, not with those strange eyes. And she did not think he meant to, but his gaze was naturally intense even when he was in a seemingly relaxed situation like this one.

The kind of gaze that came so effortless to him made her feel like he could _see_ more of her than she wanted him to see.

She leaned her elbows on the bar, flipping open the phone after a brief stint of it ling on the table. The first option was William Tell's Overture, and both of them visibly winced. When she saw he did the same, she laughed – but stopped herself when she remembered that for being Vincent, he was surprisingly sensitive…not that he was a baby, but it seemed like he did not understand humor as much as the next person.

Cloud was the same way, but she had stopped tiptoeing around his feelings. He usually never responded to any kind of laugh, or smile, so it was no use trying to get any sort of rise out of him.

The next ring tone on the list was Toccata and Fugue in D Minor, which caused another wince. Down and down the list, and none seemed to fit his personality.

"Well…there's nothing wrong with an old-fashioned ring, is there?" she smiled, and set it to its default. At least she had tried.

She was honestly becoming more than anxious under Vincent's gaze. She felt like he was looking for something that she was not revealing…or maybe that was just the way he looked at everyone. While she usually could keep a conversation light and easy-going, she was having trouble even coming up with words at that point.

And he certainly was not offering any.

"Vincent!" Tifa gave a start, as Marlene's voice came into the dead silence that had passed between her and Vincent. She had not even been able to hear him _breathing_.

Marlene had stopped at the bottom of the stairs, a book in hand (with a crumpled piece of paper marking her place) and had a smile on her face. Tifa did not stop her as she ran past her, unabashedly throwing her arms around Vincent's seated form. Tifa would have expected him to have an uncomfortable reaction, but he remained calm, and simply looked down at the girl who seemed to have a hard time releasing him.

"She still hasn't forgotten that you took her side in the Forgotten City," Tifa said, a fond note in her voice.

"Do _you_ know where Cloud is?"

Marlene's sudden question was like a guillotine on the small sense of normalcy she had lulled herself into. The question had its own physical effect, as her muscles clenched for the briefest moments. No one would have noticed unless they had been specifically watching, but as she raised her eyes from the bar counter she saw Vincent's staring back into hers.

Could she have _looked_ any more suspicious? His gaze surprised her, as it always did, and she hastily looked away. That was her tell, she supposed. It would have been easier had she just laughed it off like she usually did.

In her peripheral vision, she saw Vincent shake his head, black strands framing a face seemingly too ethereal for a man. It was hard for her to imagine that he had once been…something else. Something more human.

Love did terrible things to people.

"I miss Cloud," Marlene announced. "Tifa misses Cloud too."

"That's enough, Marlene," Tifa managed. "Why don't you go back upstairs?"

"You don't miss Cloud?" Her eyebrows had furrowed at this point, taking on that stubborn lilt that was both annoying and adorable in children. Her Marlene had a mind of her own, which was partly due to Barret but mostly to her. Only weeks ago had she asked Tifa to teach her how to fight. She had only laughed about it, and told her that _maybe_ she would when she was older.

But she certainly did not have plans for it. There should be no reason to fight anymore, not now that everything was over. Sephiroth was gone for good, wasn't he? Aeris was still in the lifestream, she was _always_there, and no one could forget her…

"That's enough, Marlene." Her words were soft, quiet, and Marlene finally seemed to hear something in them. The girl still flashed a smile at Vincent, though it was a sad one, before she collected the book she had dropped on the floor in her haste and sulked back upstairs.

"Sorry about that," she said, before she got up and skirted around so she was behind the bar. "She's just lonely."

"No need to be sorry," in the few moments of silence between them, she had forgotten how deep Vincent's voice was. How it had a lulling quality to it, too, as if she could hear him talk for hours just to listen to the sound of his voice. He would be a good singer, she thought on a whim. An opera baritone, maybe. There was such a unique quality to it.

"But you don't…" Tifa took a deep breath, occupying herself with making sure the easy-pour tops were secure on all the bottles lining the back wall. "You don't know, do you? Where he is?"

When Vincent did not reply, she did not turn around for some time. There was a knot in her throat she was struggling to push back down the exact same way she was pushing the spouts down – hearing that _squelch_when there was liquid trapped between the rubber of the cork and the glass. It was only when she heard him shift in his seat that she finally turned, making sure that her face betrayed none of her emotions when she did.

There was something different in his red eyes, but she could not put her finger on it. His long lashes obscured most of his gaze, and she sometimes thought that _his_ lashes were even longer than hers. And while Vincent stood there in the exact same place Cloud had, she knew she needed to stop comparing them. Cloud was as silent as the red-cloaked man before her, but his eyes always held a deep sorrow that she could never take away, no matter how hard she tried and how many years she spent with him. Vincent's eyes weren't cold – not like Sephiroth's – but they were…she didn't know. Just that they were different, engaging, and at the same time unreadable.

She did not realize she was staring until he made a low noise in the back of his throat, clearing it. A smile grew on her lips – more awkward than anything – and she passed everything off with a wave of her small wrist. "It doesn't matter. You know Cloud, always doing his own thing."

It was obvious, without him speaking, that he was ready to go. Tifa had thrown the cell phone box away and saved all the papers, though he insisted that she keep them – if he needed help, he would come to her. He was not going to be flipping through a phone manual for a phone he was still unsure how to use.

"Now that you have my number, don't hesitate to call, okay?" Another signature smile, and she walked with him to the door. She was not sure, but she thought she heard a soft 'goodbye' before he disappeared out onto the street, where the light was already waning. Business would start coming in soon.

And, she realized grimly, she could not get away with wearing the things she used to. For now, it simply looked like she had gained a little weight around her stomach – she hadn't been eating right lately, after all. Junk food mostly. But she had blamed it on exactly that until Yuffie had forced her into taking the test.

Thinking on it again, and seeing the compassionate recognition in Vincent's eyes when she had tried to pass off Marlene's question brought her hands down heavily on the bar. She would not cry.

She would_ not_ give him any more tears.

* * *

"Ugh! Old fart!" Yuffie plopped down the paper bags of groceries right onto the poured cement floor, which served as the ground for Cid's wide mechanics hanger. His 'new beauty' as he called her, was undergoing fuel line repairs. And no sooner had she returned to town, he had sent her on a grocery run for no good recompense but 'his love and affection.'

"There better not have been eggs in there," he rubbed his nose on his sleeve, his accented voice even rougher than normal. He was tired.

"No, I wouldn't have dropped them if there was." She paused. "Come to think of it…"

Cid shot her a look, before digging through the bags. To his luck, the eggs had been nestled on top of a loaf of bread, and save for one, the rest were good. "Well," he said, "this looks like the makings of a good fuckin' dinner. I'll feed ya for your troubles."

Yuffie's eyes grew wide as they always did, when it came to either food or material. "In that case, I can shop for you more often!"

The blonde laughed, before he dusted off his grimy clothes. "Tha's alright. Besides, I got somethin' I need to talk to you about."

Yuffie paused mid-step, before dragging her feet after him. _Oh no…_

* * *

_A/N: Thanks for ALL the lovely reviews! You have no idea how wonderful they make me feel. I hope this is getting somewhat more entertaining…But where's Cloud? We don't know. I feel like a TV show…but stay tuned to find out!_


	6. Chapter Five

**Chapter Five**

"Tifa? Tifa, are you okay?" Marlene's small voice came from the other side of the door, along with a soft knock of her knuckles on the wood. Tifa was inside, knees splayed wide on the bathroom floor, cradling the cold base of the porcelain toilet with her thighs. Goosebumps rose on her flesh with every dry retch, and she felt like she was choking. Struggling to breathe with the smell of her last meal in her nostrils and the rough feeling of acid in her throat, she managed a contained sob before she trusted herself to speak.

"I'm fine, Marlene." Clenching her teeth shut, she bowed her head onto her arms, which rested on the rim of the toilet. Strands of her long hair were everywhere, snaking over her shoulders and arms, clinging to the sweat on her face as she heaved. "Please go to your room, I'll be there soon."

"But Tifa!" She could hear tears in Marlene's voice now, and cursed herself for it – and Cloud, too.

"I'm fine, Marlene. I'm just a little sick." And just as it came, it passed. She was left feeling dizzy as she sat back from the toilet, her back resting against the cold side of the tub behind her. There was a small outward rivet, a wave on the design of the tub that managed to keep her body out enough so her lower half was not subject to the cold surface. It only caused more goose bumps to rise on her skin, evoking a small tremor from her. "Don't worry."

Silence from the other side of the door, and then a soft sigh. "Okay. But I can help!" she said eagerly.

"Okay, soon," she said – and managed a smile with it too, one that Marlene could not see.

Tifa waited until the small footsteps faded in the hallway before she reached out with shaking hands to flush the toilet. While the moments spent of her panting on the floor were not only good for her but for the water heater, she was finally able to crawl into the tub and turn the water on. When the spray first came freezing cold she whimpered, until it became scalding enough to where she could stand it.

It was time for her to grow up, she realized. The slight swell of her stomach was hardly noticeable, but it was there all the same. She had ignored it long enough, and while she knew that she had some growing up to do she could not stop the wracking sobs that came when the sound of the shower could drown them out.

* * *

"I-I-I don't know what you're talking about!!" Yuffie launched herself over the stainless steel table, her foot having barely leaped off the surface before it was caught in one of Cid's hands. He brought her down – as gently as one could a nervous ninja – until he forced her to sit on the edge of he table. She had already knocked the napkin holder and the salt-and-pepper shakers over, and he wasn't about to have anything else break on him.

"Do you always gotta be so fuckin' obvious?" His tone was an exasperated one, as he took a few steps back to examine her. "I asked you a question, I don't need you boundin' all over the place and knockin' shit over. What the hell is wrong with you?"

The ninja gave a nervous little laugh, a little on the embarrassed side. "I guess I overreacted a little…"

"You're damn right you did." Convinced that she was not going to have another random jumping spout, the older man skirted around the island so he could finish chopping up the vegetables. A pile of carrot peels rested in the sink with a paper towel beneath it, and a few onion peels were scattered around. He easily added a few more peels to the pile as he thought about Yuffie's reaction and the likewise context. "Now, you gonna tell me what the fuck's goin' on or am I gonna have to beat it out of you?"

"Umm…well, you wouldn't beat me, right?" Yuffie had an overly-sweet smile on her face, which faded abruptly when Cid chopped a zucchini clear in half with a particularly flourished chop of the knife. "Okay, old man! Okay! Sheesh. Why does it matter to you so much anyway, huh?"

"Because someone's gotta take care of you kids, and it sure as hell ain't Cloud anymore."

Yuffie was quiet for a moment, studying him with naturally expressive eyes. She always knew Cid cared but…was honestly a little surprised that he cared _that_ much. He was always off in his own place, cussing up a storm and grudgingly acknowledging friendship. She always knew he had a big heart, but it was still a little surprising.

"Well, I'm sure he's coming back, old fart. So what're you so worried about? We're not kids anymore."

"Hah," he snorted. "You expect me to believe that after the stunt you just pulled?"

"Well…"

"Listen here, girl." Cid rested the knife on the side of the cutting board, picking up the old piece of wood so he could feed its contents into the boiling pot. "You're like a kid to me, Tifa too. Whole gang, even. Same situation as before to me – when Cloud left, I took over. Yeah, we're all separated now, but I still want to take some fuckin' responsibility and make sure everyone's kickin'. Don't shake your head at me," he wagged a finger at her, the ridges of it slightly stained with his constant chain-smoking, "you don't think I notice these things but I do."

"Geez, Cid! Who knew you had such a bleeding heart!" Yuffie stuck her tongue out at him, and he returned a mocking smile. "Really, everything's fine on our end! You know I'd tell you if something was wrong." She felt really bad about lying to him – but there was not much else she could do. Tifa's secret was her own, and Yuffie could not betray her friend that way…never mind that it would not be long before someone else besides her found out. Tifa could only hide it so long, and that was why she was afraid.

"I figured as much," he returned. "But you keep me updated, it's been botherin' me that the Turkeys have been fanning their feathers at her doorstep."

Yuffie sputtered. "What? The Turks?"

"I'm sure it ain't nothin' to worry your pretty little head over now," he smirked. "Because you _know_ I'd tell you if something was wrong, don't you?"

Yuffie hunched over in her seat, muttering something along the lines of 'touché.'

* * *

Instead of going to her room, Marlene took matters into her own hands. Tifa did not know that she tried calling Cloud every day, and had left messages before she too had given up. _Cloud…_ she had always said, _come home._

Denzel never wanted to admit it, but she knew he missed Cloud. She couldn't understand why Cloud would leave when it was obvious he cared for them so much…he came to save Denzel, and fought the bad men. Vincent had already been there, and no one had told him to go. And then everyone… Tifa had seemed so happy with all her friends there. And afterward, when the Geostigma was gone, and there was no more fighting…everyone had gone away.

She knew Tifa was lonely. But she had begun to cry so much more now, and Marlene had _never_ seen her cry before. Something was wrong, because Tifa was so strong, and never asked for help from anyone. Even now, when Marlene knew she needed help, she wouldn't ask. Marlene knew that better than anyone.

So if Tifa wouldn't ask, Marlene would ask for her. She didn't want Tifa to cry anymore.

And she wanted Cloud to come home.

With a little bit of floundering with finding the address book as opposed to the recent calls list, she was able to tab down to the V's. There was only one name with that letter, and she pressed the green circle button on the pad before holding it up to her ear.

When the other end picked up the small girl gave a sigh of relief.

"Vincent? Tifa… Tifa is…" she didn't know why she was so emotional, but she was already sniffling.

"I'll be right there."

* * *

A/N: So…this chapter was a little hard to write, because I was trying to make sure there wasn't much of an…"oh that wouldn't happen!" vibe going through. But I appreciate reviews, and I hope you enjoyed. P.S...this new "line break" update is REALLY annoying, and isn't working well for me. Anyone else having this problem? I'm having to put three line breaks in the preview in order to just get one to show. Annoying.


	7. Chapter Six

**Chapter Six**

Once the water warmed, the shower was welcome. She needed something to drown out the sound of her own thoughts and force her to relax. The water smelled a little too much like chlorine – all the water smelled like that these days – but the steam surrounding her did her clogged sinuses some good. Since when had she cried so much? She hated feeling as weak as she was, but her muscles simply wouldn't work. All her mind wanted her to do was sit down and cry, and she was sick of it. Despite everything, she still had a bar to run, and kids to take care of.

_Kids…_

She felt the knot rise in her throat again, but she pushed it down. A family was what she had always wanted, wasn't it? Denzel and Marlene were as much her children as anything, but she had wanted… she had wanted Cloud to smile when she told him, as if they were in a perfect world. She had imagined him taking her into his arms and spinning her, but not to the point of her getting sick. She'd have a weak constitution now, he'd say. Cid would make fun of her for craving this food or that and Yuffie would be like the child in the backseat saying, _are we there yet?_

But it would not be as she had imagined. Everyone would look down on her, she was sure of it. _Tifa, you should have known better,_ they would say. Maybe not explicitly, but she knew she would see it in their eyes. What would they think of her? Of Cloud? Of the baby?

It was the first time that she thought of the actual baby, she realized. If Cloud never came home, how could she ever explain it? _I loved your father, but… he didn't…_

That lump that she struggled to push down came again, and she felt warm tears stream down her cheeks, mixing with the chlorinated water. She felt love-sick, too bidden with sorrow to care about her pride. She _loved_ him more than she could bear and all she had ever wanted was for him to love her too… and for that one night, she thought she saw it in his eyes. The way he held her. The way he kissed her. Everything had been… perfect. She could remember every detail, every brush of his fingers on her skin, the sorrow in his eyes that she would have done anything to take away. She wanted to see him smile again, like when they were younger. He had been an uncertain, shy little boy but she had loved him then too – always standing up for him, bullying anyone who called him out on his introverted personality.

But that was then. Her 'now' consisted of retreating from the now-cooling shower with an oversized towel wrapped around her body. She barely found the strength to use another one to run through her hair, leaving the normally straight strands stringy and more than a little frazzled by the rough treatment.

She had not been eating right, she knew. Between the bar, the kids, the new source of stress…she had to eat for more than herself now. She had to remember that. But something in her head kept shouting a denial, and she continued to want to stay in a period of ignorance, not knowing one way or another how the next day would be. She'd had some small sense of security when Cloud was still with them. Even if he did not talk, he would sit with her, help Denzel and Marlene, listen to her talk about this or that. He always listened, but rarely spoke.

"Damn it!" She cried out, more in anger now than anything, despite the warm wetness on her cheeks. "Stop, Cloud, just…"

The main door downstairs opened and closed. It was not anywhere near to opening time yet, and she had specifically remembered locking the door…unless Marlene or Denzel decided to go outside, which had certainly _not_ been cleared by her first. Despite furiously wiping away her tears she knew her eyes would still be red. But she had greater things to worry about, she reminded herself, as she opened the bathroom door and stepped into the hallway. Her warm, bare feet left heat imprints on the wood floor as she padded to the top of the stairs, able to glance down into the bar only a tiny fraction from where she was.

"Marlene? Denzel?" She heart footsteps, but larger ones. No voices. Immediately worried for them, she headed down the stairs one silent step at a time, though her gait was slightly hurried. "Marlene?" Still nothing but footsteps – heavy footsteps. Despite being in only a towel she descended the stairs with a purpose, fully ready to take anyone on who thought it was a good idea to come barging into her bar.

Instead of being met by the bottom step, she slammed right into a body. Without time to react she pin-wheeled slightly, catching the arch of her foot on the last step to stabilize herself while raising a well-formed fist in the air. She acted quicker than her eyes registered, and by the time she swung her arm in perfect precision (she was a little rusty these days) she had only then realized who it was. Too little too late, and she executed the right hook, landing the intruder directly on his face.

An apology disappeared on her lips when she took in the man who had landed smack on her wood floor. What had begun as a stare of disbelief quickly turned into one of annoyance, and she quickly situated the towel on herself so it covered as much as possible.

"Reno, what are you doing here?"

"Geez, is that what I get?" The Turk was rubbing his jaw, and tongueing the inside of his cheek at the same time. "There's blood in my mouth!"

Despite his incredulous tone, Tifa only put a hand on her hip. "What did you think you were going to get from me? You scared the hell out of me!"

"You, scared? Come on." He was still rubbing his cheek, looking a little more like a wounded puppy than anything.

"Still…" Tifa began, looking around the empty bar warily. No sign of Denzel or Marlene. "How did you get in here?"

"Why are your eyes so red?" His question obviously caught her off guard, as she blinked at him a few times. When the question finally set in, she only blinked more.

"I was in the shower," she explained.

"Yes, obviously." This time the Turk gave a silly, boyish little grin that set her teeth grinding. She had temporarily forgotten that her state of undress was in front of Reno, who was apparently some renowned player…if the stories were true. He certainly had the looks, but she doubted he had much else. He still acted too immature for her taste. "So, what, did you squirt shampoo in your eyes? Speaking of, whatever it is smells great."

"Are we done here, Reno? You can come back when the bar is open." Tifa made a hand motion to shoo him away with her free hand, as the other was protectively around the towel. "Or, for that matter, don't come back at all."

"Hey hey, I thought we were friends. Remember how we helped you? Score's even now."

"According to you. If you consider this past time as enough, then you haven't changed. You…all of you, have a lot more work to do."

"What, so if I do some community service you'll let me take you out?"

Tifa's eyes grew wide – first in embarrassment, and then indignation. "Get out!"

The red-haired man laughed, unable to keep his eyes off the former AVALANCHE member. Still the same, long, curvy legs. Breasts to kill for. A petite face, and her long hair wet and snaking around her still-glistening shoulders. Now, if only it weren't for that damn towel…

"Did you hear me, Reno?" her voice cut through his thoughts, and he quickly realized where they were going. "I told you to get out!"

In order to accentuate her point, Tifa moved to the doorway. One hand was still wrapped tightly around the towel where the two ends overlapped, managing only to expose a sliver of her thigh more because of where the break in the cloth was. She was getting ready to tell him _exactly_ how mad she was as she opened the door to give him a clearer exit, but her sight line of the outside street was blocked.

By a tall, red-cloaked man.

"…Vincent," her voice was quiet, her eyes showing the surprise she felt.

"Well, we got a regular reunion going on!" Reno chimed from behind her.

And only then did she realize what kind of position she was in…

--

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Author's Note: Hope you enjoyed, sorry for the wait! Please read and review, PLEASE!! I enjoy them very much. And don't worry for all you CloTi fans…Cloud is just taking his sweet time (he's so emo). I make no promises on the outcome, though! Har har.


	8. Chapter Seven

**Chapter Seven**

An awkward silence passed, the likes of which Tifa had not been a member of before. There had always been strange silences between her and Cloud, which she would try to fill on a regular basis, but this silence was something that she could not really fix.

_Why is my life suddenly turning into a drama? Could I get better scriptwriters? _Tifa thought, as she curled her bare and still shower-warmed toes on the wood floor of her business. Her skin - however much the towel revealed of it, anyway - was suddenly far warmer than she remembered it to be.

"Well…" Reno drew out the 'ell' to a point where he sounded more like Cid than anything, and she felt the distinct brush of his body as he moved past her to the doorway. "Nice to see a bit of the old gang. We should do this more often," that ended on a laugh, as Vincent voluntarily moved out of his way so Reno could pass the threshold.

Tifa, a little too stunned to protest, merely let him leave. _What did he come for, anyway? And how did he let himself in? I didn't think I left the door unlocked…_

"Um…Vincent," she began, unsure of what her intention had been when she started to open her mouth.

"Marlene called," he stated flatly.

"Marlene?" Tifa blinked in surprise before giving a glance to the stairway. If Marlene had called him, then she was probably the one to unlock the door. "I'm sorry, I don't know why she would have wanted you to come all the way over here…"

"She called regarding you, Tifa."

_Well, he's to the point,_ she thought, as she glanced up to him. He really was tall. Taller than Cloud, maybe a little taller than Cid. For all the times she saw them standing side by side, she should have remembered. Then again, she could not figure out why his height mattered. "I'm sorry," she apologized with her signature smile. "Well…while you're here, do you want something to eat? Drink?" When he did not answer right off, she motioned him in. He was still standing in the open doorway, after all.

She realized a little belatedly that her state of undress had not changed. If she remembered correctly, Vincent had probably seen her in a worse state during all the days that they had traveled together, but times had changed. Two years had changed her, but not more than the past three months had.

Tifa felt sick all of a sudden, and knew the reason why – though she cursed her penchant for bad timing. Swallowing softly, she glanced at Vincent from under her eyelashes, a little startled to see that his intense gaze was fixed on her. He, on the other hand, had not changed. He was still impossible to read.

"Wait here until I get dressed, okay?" she smiled again, before turning to pad back up the stairs. Still a little weary from the crying spell and her lack of sleep, she found the last task a little harder than she remembered it to be. Having to pause at the top of the stairs to gather her wits and her strength, she was unable to miss Marlene rounding the corner.

"Is Vincent here?" the young girl asked.

At first, Tifa thought that she would give Marlene a small talking-to. She had never done so before, as Marlene had never merited it, but more than anything she felt like the situation was coming closer and closer to someone else finding out about her pregnancy. It was hard; especially with the way she was feeling that day, to keep up a pretense. _Would Marlene even understand if I told her? Could she? _But more than anything, Tifa knew that she could not get angry with Marlene for calling Vincent. She was only worried as to why she did.

"Yes, he's downstairs. Want to keep him company for me for a bit?" Her smile seemed to ease Marlene, who quickly returned the gesture and hopped down the stairs. Tifa hated it when she took them two at a time, always worried that she would fall. Between her and Denzel, she had more than enough on her hands. Even though Marlene was not a permanent resident of their…_her_…home, Tifa already treated her like a daughter. And then Denzel.

And then…her child? _If Denzel is already going to grow up without a father…could I do the same to my child?_

Only when she was in her room with the door closed did she remove her towel to drape on the bed. She stood in front of the full-length mirror placed in the corner of her room – an old antique that Cloud had gone with her to pick out. The edges of the oval surface were beginning to show signs of wear beneath the clear surface, like cracks in the desert sand. It was nothing that could be fixed – it came with the mirror when they bought it – but it had character. She always liked antiques for that purpose.

From the front, her bare body looked no different to her. Her hair was brushed behind her shoulder as it had been the first morning after Cloud had left, and she absently touched the place on her neck where his mark had remained for three days. She had hoped…no, prayed…that he would come back before the mark disappeared. But it had not been three days, but three months. And she was losing hope.

It was when she turned to the side that she noticed the difference. It was slight, only able to be seen by her profile, but her stomach was different. She doubted anyone else would notice unless they were studying her body like she was. Even so, she still chose to dress in something loose-fitting and comfortable. Her jeans hung low enough to where the size was still the same, and she pulled a hooded lounge shirt over her head with indistinguishable scribbles in slightly metallic (although faded) fabric paint. It was a disaster of a shirt but it was comfortable – it had been plain black when she had taken it with Denzel and Marlene to the fair, once all the Geostigma was gone. Yuffie had single-handedly tackled the face painting area, while she and Cloud had helped with the fabric paints. As a contingency plan, if no one brought clothes to be demolished, she brought an old hood-t-shirt of her own. No on ehad brought anything at first, but after Denzel, Marlene, and Cloud had a run at her shirt it was not long before everyone began to demolish their own clothes.

Cloud had painted on this shirt, looking more like a child than she had ever seen him in her life. She smiled at the memory, before finding herself unconsciously pressing the shirt down over her nearly flat belly. Perhaps, had Vincent not been waiting downstairs, she would have felt the urge to cry again. But instead she picked her head up, brushed her drying hair behind her shoulders, and left the room.

Marlene's laughter greeted her senses before she made it down the stairs. In just that short amount of time she felt better, more refreshed, and even a little glad that Vincent had come to pay her a visit. It meant he cared, right? And it was not as if he knew the real reason…

"See? I put Pac Man on your phone!" Marlene's voice came in its usual innocent tone, and Tifa almost laughed at the sight of Vincent's face as he glanced at the screen Marlene held out. She even heard the familiar Pac Man theme, which only made the hidden laughter within her burst out in soft fallings. Vincent caught her gaze when he heard her laughter, and he looked as if he was almost…surprised by it. Tifa caught herself at the last minute, realizing that there was no expression to note on his face. There hardly ever was.

"Marlene, I don't think Vincent plays Pac Man," she laughed softly.

"Well, he didn't have a phone earlier! And now he does! So maybe he likes games!" It was only then that Tifa noticed that Marlene had perched herself on the stool right next to Vincent and had wrapped a small arm through his. She looked perfectly content that way…even closer to him, she thought, than she had been with Cloud. And Vincent hardly seemed to mind.

"Vincent, would you like something to drink?" Tifa eased behind the bar, glancing over the stock. They were fine for the night – she did not need to go out. She was going to need to change before they opened, but that was a while from now. She could afford to visit for a little, even though she was slightly nervous as to the questions that could be posed to her.

"Yes, thank you." It always struck Tifa as to how soft the quality of Vincent's voice was despite his harsh appearance. It managed to be tinged with dark but also strangely melodic…though, like Cloud, she could always hear an undertone to it.

_If things continue like they are for me…will my voice sound like theirs some day? Haunted?_

"I'm going to wake Denzel up!" Marlene announced as she untwined her arm from Vincent's and hopped to the floor. "I'm bored!"

Tifa smiled after her, waiting until she heard her small footfalls echo up the stairs and above her before she returned her eyes to the bottles. He didn't specify what he wanted, so… "What are you in the mood for? Strong? Light?"

"Strong."

"Alright! Coming right up." She smiled as she picked out a simple whiskey (she had a good habit of reading her customers, and knew what they needed before they needed it) but a good one, none the less. The turkey on the label caught the glint of the afternoon sun peeping through her Venetian blinds as she poured it over ice. He took the glass without question once she finished pouring, and she was only slightly surprised when he took a long drink and handed it back.

As she refilled the glass, he finally spoke. "Was Reno troubling you?"

Surprised, Tifa accidentally clanked the neck of the bottle on the lip of the glass. The sound seemed almost deafening in the bar, even with the dying fan whirring above them. "Eh…no, not exactly…"

"Is he the reason why Marlene called?"

_Jeez, why do I feel like I'm being interrogated? _"Lighten up, Vincent!" She laughed, as she slid the glass across the bar to him. There was a stool by where she stood for the slower nights, and she pulled it to be level with his before sitting down. Her elbows rested on the glossed wood that separated them. "You look so serious!"

Vincent said nothing, but his gaze was enough. It was strange…he seemed almost…

"Well, he really got here maybe five minutes before you showed up. I just got out of the shower and I heard the door open downstairs…I was so surprised I nailed him one right in the face." She made the motion of punching him – though quite scaled down – in the air between them. "Reminded me of the old days."

Another silence passed, though this one was less awkward. The sound of the ice cubes melting in his glass provided some ambient noise.

"Um…about Marlene." She broached the subject first, since it seemed only a matter of time before he would again. Still in a little awe as to his sudden change of personality, she continued on tiptoes. "I think…she's just worried about me. I-"

"Is it Cloud?" His words cut hers off, though she was more surprised at what he said than the fact that he had spoken.

"I guess…I'm just mad." Somehow, saying this made her feel better. Her face even brightened, as if she had come across a revelation. "That's it – I'm mad. I'm mad that he left and didn't tell us where he was going, I'm mad that he hasn't picked up his phone, I'm mad that…" Her fingers clenched into fists on the bar, and she had to bite down on her teeth for a moment to control her racing thoughts. _Why am I so emotional? This is getting ridiculous…_ "And Marlene worries about me. I'm sorry that she called you here for something so stupid."

Why did it always hurt more when someone was sympathetic? For the moment, she felt like doing nothing more than crying and telling him everything. She would be taking advantage of his concern, she knew, but still…

"Tifa…" It was the tone of his voice that brought her from her own thoughts, and at first she thought he was requesting a refill on his drink. His tone seemed urgent, though his drink was only half gone. It was his eyes, when she et them, that startled her. "I-"

The phone cut him off. She could do nothing but offer an apologetic smile, while her mind raced with the picture of his expression. Why did he seem…even more… _I can't put my finger on it,_ she thought. But when the phone continued to insistently ring, she could do nothing but offer him an apologetic smile.

"Hello?"

"Tifa! It's Yuffie!"

"Hi, Yuffie, can I ca-"

"I…I accidentally told Cid! He just left! I didn't mean to tell him anything, I swear! Oh please don't be mad at me! Tifa? Tifa? Tifa!"

But she had already put the phone back on the cradle.

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Author's Note: I hope you enjoyed, sorry for the wait! I tried to make this chapter a little longer (I think this is the longest so far) to make up for it. But no fear, I have already started writing the next, so it won't be such a ridiculously long wait!! Please please PLEASE review!! You don't know how much I appreciate them. They are my inspiration!!


	9. Chapter Eight

_Where is he? I heard him calling._

_I am free! No one can stop me._

_I want to rush and throw my arms about his neck,_

_I want to lie upon his breast!..._

_In the howling and clatter of hell,_

_And the angry jeering of devils,_

_I could tell the sound of that dear, sweet voice."_

_-_Goethe, _Faust_

**Chapter Eight**

"Cid, no!" Yuffie had two hands in his white cotton shirt, digging the heels of her knee-high boots into the pavement of the sidewalk to try and stop him. He was not even slowing down. The force with which he walked caused her to be pulled after him, making her skip a few steps before she could grab another opportunity to dig in her heels and try again. "Sto…op!"

Nothing. He just kept walking.

"That fucking spiky-headed son of a whore!" Cid's voice was loud and unapologetic as he trucked down the street. Yuffie had to run like her life depended on it to catch up to him after her short phone call with Tifa, and there was no stopping him. "I'm going to kill that motherfucker!"

"Old Man, think about Tiiiiiiifa!" The 'I' was emphasized as Yuffie tried harder, not only to dig in her heels but to pull back at the same time. She looked like a fly trying to move a tow truck – weak and insignificant. She was beginning to feel the same way too. She told Tifa specifically that she would not share her secret with _anyone_ until she was ready…if she was ready. She did not know yet what Tifa planned to do but she had made a _promise_ and now here she was, tugging on Cid's shirtsleeves, trying to keep him from murdering someone that was nowhere to be seen or heard from.

_Cloud, where are you?_ Yuffie thought briefly, as she was finally forced to let go of Cid. _Why aren't you here?_

Naturally, the cosmos returned no answer to her. The only thing keeping her afloat now was the old members of AVALANCHE…with or without Cloud.

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"Vincent…I need to…go out." Tifa stuttered over her words as she tried to find excuses. Never had she been a master at lying, and now was no different. She felt almost sheepish for lying to him, as he leveled her a look (while at the same time leveling her _no_ look – at least not something she was sure she could read) that said somewhat clearly that he knew she was lying.

Still, he politely stood and turned. Tifa moved around the bar so she could stand at his side, offering him the best smile she could despite the circumstances. What was she going to do? It was bad enough that Yuffie told Cid, but now, what if Cid told everyone? What would they think of her?

What would they think of _Cloud?_

More worried for his reputation than her own, Tifa did not realize that she was chattering uselessly until the front door burst open. It was Cid, followed closely by a pensive Yuffie who immediately looked down to the floor. Tifa did not know why, but she could not be mad at her friend. After all, she was the only other girl in AVALANCHE now, her only other real companion. Yuffie would not have told Cid with anything malicious in mind.

At the same time, however, Tifa was disappointed. More in herself than anything. She could have handled everything alone, she should have never involved Yuffie and complicated her life with such a secret. And now it seemed like Vincent would know, too, as they were both trapped inside with Cid at the doorway.

"Where is that mother fucker?" Cid practically yelled, with all the vehemence of a scorned father who had just found out his only daughter, perhaps even at sixteen, was pregnant. Never mind that Tifa was not his daughter nor was she an adult, the emotion was the same. His face was even red, his chest rising and falling heavily with his anger. She knew she should have been touched that he was standing up on her behalf, but the situation was just too out of control for her to think of anything besides what to do with everyone.

"Cid," Tifa began calmly. "You know as well as I do that he isn't here."

"Well I'm going to find that fucking spiky-haired mother fucker and teach him a fucking thing or two about responsibility!" The older man trampled around, looking as if he would find Cloud suddenly hiding underneath a table or behind the bar. Tifa moved out of his way.

So did Vincent, whose eyes betrayed no confusion, no curiosity. Nothing.

_They're so much like Cloud's eyes_, Tifa thought.

More cursing before Yuffie tried to calm him down. He didn't until Tifa spoke again. "Cid…really, it's okay. I'm okay."

"How can you be? What the fuck makes you think that none of us would give a damn, eh?" Cid was already behind the bar by the time she spoke, and he did not ask as he reached for a bottle of Jack Daniels. He pulled out a glass with a hand that was almost shaking, dipping the thin-rimmed cup in the icemaker before he poured the dark liquid near to the top. He downed half until he spoke again.

The room remained quiet.

"I didn't want to worry anyone," Tifa said. "…Especially with Cloud…gone, and all. Really, Cid, it's fine. Please. Your blood pressure is going to go through the roof," she offered him a calming smile when she said this – one that was inherently hers. It managed to work some magic, as Cid made his way back around the bar to sit down in one of the stools with a heavy sigh.

It was inevitable that she caught Vincent's gaze. His look was not even questioning, but she opened her mouth to tell him.

_He may as well know… _"Vincent, I'm-"

"Pregnant. I know." It was the same deadpan voice that he always used but it somehow sounded…softer. She could not quite put her finger on it, much like she could not put her finger on what he was going to say earlier.

Tifa, wide-eyed, blinked at him. "How?"

He shrugged, and said nothing.

"How long did you know?"

"Since the first time I came with the phone."

_Since the first time he…and he didn't…act any different._ Tifa caught herself staring, and forced herself to turn her attention back to Cid and Yuffie, who were sitting expectantly. _I guess I'll have to give my press conference now…_

"Tifa, I wish you would have told us earlier. We'll take care of ya in place of that brat."

"It's okay, Cid, really. I've already made my decision."

"Yay!" Yuffie finally chimed in, the first time in the barroom conversation. "Don't worry, Tifa! We'll be fine without Cloud! We get to build it a little crib and get little booties and…why are you shaking your head?" The ninja blinked at her, much in the same fashion Tifa had blinked at Vincent.

Cid, with the mind he claimed was like a steel trap, downed the rest of his drink after her next statement.

"Because…I've decided to…not go through with the pregnancy."

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Author's Note: I hope you enjoyed this chapter, sorry for the wait! Please please please please please review!! They make me update quicker in order to please.  And I thought I would do a throwback to the earlier chapters by including a literary quote at the top. Please review!!


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